Challenge
Lauren on Facebook challenges- "...Write a goodbye letter to
your old life. Include how you feel when you look in the mirror, how
you feel when you look at food, your goals, where you wanna be long term
(say 5 or 10 years), and why you are saying goodbye to a life of
obesity. Share it with someone you know, love, and trust (maybe each
other??). This is HARD and VERY VERY emotional (at least it was for
me). But it's an excellent thing to have on hand when you are
struggling with focus! A current photo or something symbolic of your
start point is a great thing to add with this."
Jackie's Response-
 |
| Post Card To My Old Self |
|
|
|
"Dear Old Life aka Old Self,
I am done with you! You and your accomplices’ laziness,
thoughtlessness, and carelessness have ruined things one to many times! You
have put me in a bad position of having wasted far to much of my life on you!
I’ve spent far to much time battling depression and low self esteem and it’s
all your fault for allowing thoughtlessness to control way to much! I have
decided its past time for the new me to take control of my life/self. This
includes whipping my poor neglected body into shape! Yes it (my body) may moan
groan and hate me today for it but what I am planning for it is far to
important! My body will get use to the new changes since its in its best
interest. I plan on living a full and happy life with me, myself, and I. One full
of accomplishment, pride, and self-love! I will no longer allow this lack of
self-control in my life! There are many things I cannot control I have found.
One of them is my lack of job. Yes I can continue my job search but Job hunting
is much like selling… you can lead/teach/help a person find what they want with
you but you can’t force them to take it. I can’t force people to hire me as
much as I would enjoy doing exactly that. No, what I can do… what I can control
in life is my own body, health, and happiness. And that is what I am trying to
do now. Food will no longer be a thoughtless thing to be shoveled in with no
care as to what it is doing to my body. My poor body has been abused enough.
Instead my body is going to be taught what it never knew, how to be healthy and
to do things like run with ease. It will also be re taught things it once
knew/did, things like walking in high heals and being flexible! My nice curvy
legs will know what it is to be firm and sexy in stockings or with bare skin
again instead of rubbing so painfully against on another. My figure will have a
waistline for once in its life and I will cinch it tightly with a belt without
worrying about fit! I will roam the woods/forest looking for the glory of
nature without the burden of my bowling ball like breast pressing against my
ribs or feeling like I have to take a break every 15 seconds. It’s high time
for me to take control of myself. I warn you now old self; I have declared war
on you! I have no place in my new life plan for things like laziness,
thoughtlessness, and carelessness. Nope the new plan is achievement, living
life to its fullest, self-control, and self love.
PS- I’ve replaced the lock to myself and only the new me has
the key to my dreams/hope/life. You are not allowed back.
Your enemy,
The New ME!"

 |
| Key to my hopes, dreams, life... May I always be in control of it. |
If your wondering what its addressed to it says-
"Old Life / Old SELF
Apt. Thoughtlessness #1, Unhealthy St.
Fat City, USA"
I hope this isn't to silly of me. To be honest having done a bit of writing about my reasons for losing weight both for my bio on this blog, on my fashion blog, and for the Biggest Loser open casting call I really didn't want to do something depressing. Instead I wanted to mix classic silly me with why I'm doing this and some symbolism behind my efforts. I really do want to gain more control over my life and while their is soo much in my life I can't control the one thing I should have had control of all along was neglected. This I now realize is a serious problem. I should not neglect one aspect of my life, especially one so important to my future (my health) just because I feel down or helpless. Instead I should take control of as much of my life as I can, Including my health. So thank you for this challenge Lauren and sorry if it wasn't quite as somber as it should have been.