Laurens Challenge 9/2/2011

 

Challenge

Lauren on Facebook challenges- "...Write a goodbye letter to your old life. Include how you feel when you look in the mirror, how you feel when you look at food, your goals, where you wanna be long term (say 5 or 10 years), and why you are saying goodbye to a life of obesity. Share it with someone you know, love, and trust (maybe each other??). This is HARD and VERY VERY emotional (at least it was for me). But it's an excellent thing to have on hand when you are struggling with focus! A current photo or something symbolic of your start point is a great thing to add with this." 

 

Jackie's Response- 

Post Card To My Old Self

 

"Dear Old Life aka Old Self,

I am done with you! You and your accomplices’ laziness, thoughtlessness, and carelessness have ruined things one to many times! You have put me in a bad position of having wasted far to much of my life on you! I’ve spent far to much time battling depression and low self esteem and it’s all your fault for allowing thoughtlessness to control way to much! I have decided its past time for the new me to take control of my life/self. This includes whipping my poor neglected body into shape! Yes it (my body) may moan groan and hate me today for it but what I am planning for it is far to important! My body will get use to the new changes since its in its best interest. I plan on living a full and happy life with me, myself, and I. One full of accomplishment, pride, and self-love! I will no longer allow this lack of self-control in my life! There are many things I cannot control I have found. One of them is my lack of job. Yes I can continue my job search but Job hunting is much like selling… you can lead/teach/help a person find what they want with you but you can’t force them to take it. I can’t force people to hire me as much as I would enjoy doing exactly that. No, what I can do… what I can control in life is my own body, health, and happiness. And that is what I am trying to do now. Food will no longer be a thoughtless thing to be shoveled in with no care as to what it is doing to my body. My poor body has been abused enough. Instead my body is going to be taught what it never knew, how to be healthy and to do things like run with ease. It will also be re taught things it once knew/did, things like walking in high heals and being flexible! My nice curvy legs will know what it is to be firm and sexy in stockings or with bare skin again instead of rubbing so painfully against on another. My figure will have a waistline for once in its life and I will cinch it tightly with a belt without worrying about fit! I will roam the woods/forest looking for the glory of nature without the burden of my bowling ball like breast pressing against my ribs or feeling like I have to take a break every 15 seconds. It’s high time for me to take control of myself. I warn you now old self; I have declared war on you! I have no place in my new life plan for things like laziness, thoughtlessness, and carelessness. Nope the new plan is achievement, living life to its fullest, self-control, and self love. 

PS- I’ve replaced the lock to myself and only the new me has the key to my dreams/hope/life. You are not allowed back. 

Your enemy, 

The New ME!"

Key to my hopes, dreams, life... May I always be in control of it.

If your wondering what its addressed to it says-

"Old Life / Old SELF

Apt. Thoughtlessness #1, Unhealthy St.

Fat City, USA"

I hope this isn't to silly of me. To be honest having done a bit of writing about my reasons for losing weight both for my bio on this blog, on my fashion blog, and for the Biggest Loser open casting call I really didn't want to do something depressing. Instead I wanted to mix classic silly me with why I'm doing this and some symbolism behind my efforts. I really do want to gain more control over my life and while their is soo much in my life I can't control the one thing I should have had control of all along was neglected. This I now realize is a serious problem. I should not neglect one aspect of my life, especially one so important to my future (my health) just because I feel down or helpless. Instead I should take control of as much of my life as I can, Including my health. So thank you for this challenge Lauren and sorry if it wasn't quite as somber as it should have been.